A philter of poetry

    • [SERIOUS BUSINESS]

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    • Like a yolk sizzling on the skillet,
      My brain's been fried.
      Here we see the family eating millet,
      Servants feast on sides.

      Born without purpose we leave the cradle of the tomb,
      We crawl blind always to question.
      Dead without reason, like we've never left the womb.
      In its embrace we learn that final lesson.

      We were borne of cement and lust,
      The bastard children of a generation lost.
      They cast sightless eyes upon us,
      Contempt for existence is all it was.

      To share what you must and take what you can,
      Just don't be surprised when they decide to take your hand.
      Wrapped in stainless bracelets under lock and key,
      It's a new statement in fashion and jewelry.

      Don't contest with those who know best,
      Challenge the views and catch a bullet in your chest.
      It isn't an issue of materials or dress,
      Just a philosophy to challenge poor ethics.

      The greatest traits look to display yourself as amiable,
      The sickest of baits try to force you to be malleable.
      It won't hurt to question your own existence,
      For in the end, you are your only witness.

      <hr>

      We are all strong and weak. The qualities of the best people involve the willingness to open perception. In this way blind justice becomes injustice, and an unwillingness to recognize faults and flaws within a system only hurts everybody within the system. Question your existence and the reality you inhabit; while nature is black and white civilization is not. We cannot come to a common consensus without opening channels of communication and engaging in equitable discussion.

      Without proper conversation, division is created. We cannot improve ourselves unless we're willing to listen to the criticism around us. People show more preference for less challenge, a sedentary mannerism created by the instant gratification of the modern world.

      For those who question why I "argue," it is not what you perceive. People don't care to engage in thoughtful discussion, and brush it off as "TL:DR" or complain about the length of my posts. You are always welcome to ignore my posts, especially if you don't like what you're reading, just know its a sign of your ignorance. You are always welcome to make excuses, but you will forever cradle yourself in your "thought bubble." I will always take note of the facts as they come to light and I will always be willing to amend my hypotheses, but I know where from it all stems.

      It isn't to do with personal mannerisms or individual qualities, it's a concept of personal perceptions. Our world is comprised of many realities, and each perspective is its own. A perspective reality is not the same as reality, and that's the veil I attempt to pierce. What you observe is your perspective, and it is true to you, but it is not the defining reality of the world which we all reside.

      As children we are taught to learn as much as we can, but we find ourselves reverting to primal natures as we grow older. We dissent/resent change, and especially that which challenges our own perspective. We don't want to deviate from our perspective reality because it suits us. The reality is that nobody cares about you, but rather what they can get from you: when an authority figure demands compliance or threatens for compliance, they want something, but are willing to give nothing. When a person asks for assistance, they want your help.

      For millennia the concept of justice was portrayed as a set of scales, to weigh and balance the political system's needs against the needs of the people. When the scale becomes imbalanced, one party must sacrifice or the other must gain to reset the balance. When neither party is willing to function in either way, the balance of justice is offset to favour one group over another. In the event that one party has nothing to offer as sacrifice to restore balance, the imbalance is either false or the party which holds favour has created a false perception of what truly is.

      Your ignorance does not hurt just yourself, but instead hurts everybody. I watch the news only to feel the pain of a world in distress and to witness the profound ignorance that corporatism has bestowed to its consumers. Triumph once said, "The good Book said it's better to give than to receive..." I see less giving and more taking. I see people taking all the help and freebies they can get, but give nothing in return. On the flip-side, these same people love to give demands and impose expectations, but believe they are exempt from the same rules of society.

      Trouble wrote:

      Sounds like an expert clicker to me :D

      Doc Brown wrote:

      I have read several of your posts elsewhere over a number of years. I find your mental state to be disturbing and you probably need professional help.
      What you write in the spam section doesn't have much impact on the game as a whole ... But I don't like to see you attempting to influence normal players in universe 1.
    • did you change rhyming scheme in stanza 4 to indicate change of tone?

      i like the sense of self-forgiveness in stanza 6

      the meter is a bit erratic throughout, and i can't make my mind up whether this was intentional.
      MOST HATED RANK #2

      TOP 1 (solo) x 2 (ACS) x 1

      TOP 10 (solo) x 3 (ACS) x 9
      Super Adv x 64
      Adv x 290
      Basic x 1711
      RIP KILLS 6518



    • My metered prosody is catalogued on my home PC, what is written in this thread is usually just free-form, though I try to adhere to a loose metric footing. The change in rhyming scheme wasn't entirely unintentional (mostly because free-form), but I did intend to start with depression and move towards a mood of clarity and reconciliation. Try not to read my prosody, but voice it instead.

      I didn't intend for self-forgiveness, I guess I was going for more of a, "take responsibility for yourself, and if you can, even more."

      If I wanted, I could have work-shopped this to follow a particular meter, but essentially this is all just spit-balls for song ideas for my band. (Progressive metal, if any were curious)

      Trouble wrote:

      Sounds like an expert clicker to me :D

      Doc Brown wrote:

      I have read several of your posts elsewhere over a number of years. I find your mental state to be disturbing and you probably need professional help.
      What you write in the spam section doesn't have much impact on the game as a whole ... But I don't like to see you attempting to influence normal players in universe 1.
    • poetry is a highly disciplined art form.

      i read it aloud to see if it scanned better that way. i'm not sure that it did, but a live performance from the poet - or your band - would probably address those issues.

      we can only see the bare text and make what we will of it.

      sorry to focus on the technical side when you are probably more interested in my reaction to the content.

      it is not for me to argue with the theme or its direction. my interest is in how you chose to present it, and why you chose one form as opposed to another.
      MOST HATED RANK #2

      TOP 1 (solo) x 2 (ACS) x 1

      TOP 10 (solo) x 3 (ACS) x 9
      Super Adv x 64
      Adv x 290
      Basic x 1711
      RIP KILLS 6518



    • I actually like the technical aspects. I didn't create this thread for praise or reactions, and I welcome valid criticism. For whatever it's worth, some of these I do rework to fit certain foots, for both the sake of practice and technicalities. Musical composition for my band isn't for the sake of fame and fortune, but art for the sake of art.

      One of my life goals is to invent my own method of music composition, akin to Roger Waters' architectural music writing. Unlike a majority of contemporary artists, I can read musical notation (thank you church choir), but I'm a madman in my own right, as Jean-Michel quote in my sig notes.

      Sadly, my madness is not welcome in most contexts... It's maddening.

      Trouble wrote:

      Sounds like an expert clicker to me :D

      Doc Brown wrote:

      I have read several of your posts elsewhere over a number of years. I find your mental state to be disturbing and you probably need professional help.
      What you write in the spam section doesn't have much impact on the game as a whole ... But I don't like to see you attempting to influence normal players in universe 1.
    • It is here and now I pull the plug
      On something I thought once was
      Just and cause and fair for all,
      Yet now you choose to let fall.

      Acclaimed improvement without usefulness,
      I should have known you'd just make excuses.
      All those endeavors that proved so fruitless;
      Jumped the gun to scape-goat me, you are truly foolish.

      Like parables from days of old,
      Ironically a fitting description.
      If I refuse to do what I'm told,
      I strongly suggest you listen.

      It is without need of violence nor threats to silence,
      The tools I wield are passivity and compliance.
      I will not rule nor judge the kids of pasture,
      I shepard their future with fair censure.

      Never slave to work the day, only enjoy that which you crave
      Gods know if I had it my way, we'd all have learned from our mistakes.

      ---

      This has been eating me for nigh an half-year. My CEO demanded I stop criticizing my employees, and that I was in no position to criticize anybody within the company. Outside of berating me in an open e-mail, he genuinely had no wiggle room after a few federal law violations he made, and several poor decisions in regards to business management, ethics, and savvy; often these goofs were a result of greed. The scenario reminded me of the Biblical expression from Genesis, "You shall crush his head and he shall strike your heel."

      It took six months to receive closure on this issue, but in that time we've lost market/profit margin, and we're actually hemorrhaging money. I'm withdrawing myself from my firm in a few months and acquiring employment elsewhere, because I'd rather jump ship then sink on the one I stand.

      Trouble wrote:

      Sounds like an expert clicker to me :D

      Doc Brown wrote:

      I have read several of your posts elsewhere over a number of years. I find your mental state to be disturbing and you probably need professional help.
      What you write in the spam section doesn't have much impact on the game as a whole ... But I don't like to see you attempting to influence normal players in universe 1.
    • I want to be hollow like the abyssal plains of hell.
      For just one day I’d like to know what it means to be well.
      One day I’d give to spare a lifetime of pain,
      Just one more moment before you took yourself away.

      There’s no words that can be said,
      Not one utterance shall lift this grief.
      Not one action to bring back the dead.
      Not a spare thought to offer relief.

      I’d sell my soul to remove his torment,
      It was family at first sight.
      He saved me whole and made me unbent,
      Yet I could not give him Last Rites.

      The plains of despair stretch beyond the steppes of agony.
      Doomed and empty I soulless wander forever infinitely.
      Epitome of broken empathy, I burn myself an effigy,
      I don’t need pre-destiny to give what’s best for me.

      I know not what it means in life to gain.
      Loss is familiar, it’ll stay with me until the grave.

      Trouble wrote:

      Sounds like an expert clicker to me :D

      Doc Brown wrote:

      I have read several of your posts elsewhere over a number of years. I find your mental state to be disturbing and you probably need professional help.
      What you write in the spam section doesn't have much impact on the game as a whole ... But I don't like to see you attempting to influence normal players in universe 1.
    • Did I ever tell you that you were a hero?
      Not just to me, but for many faces more.
      You took a minute to speak, and the loss was zero.
      Had you not, I would have settled the score.

      You traded me a mind of peace for a piece of mind,
      A glimpse to hell through eyes glossed blind.
      I thought maybe you just needed to hear,
      I still appreciate you being there.

      I've never heard a genuine thanks, nor an apology.
      They didn't think I had what it takes; just a fallacy.
      The madness you saw in me those years ago,
      Has been a lifetime of pain that stayed unknown.

      One swing of the hammer and she would not be a grad,
      Another gunshot and he wouldn't be a dad.
      "It's funny how fragile life has always been,"
      I said that dryly, and somehow you saw a grin.

      I think maybe you knew, but didn't want to say,
      I'm glad you said anything, because I could have changed the world that day...
      Even for a few.

      Trouble wrote:

      Sounds like an expert clicker to me :D

      Doc Brown wrote:

      I have read several of your posts elsewhere over a number of years. I find your mental state to be disturbing and you probably need professional help.
      What you write in the spam section doesn't have much impact on the game as a whole ... But I don't like to see you attempting to influence normal players in universe 1.